Scary Facts


When a Lubricant, Isn’t a lubricant.

As most may contain safe ingredients, the real problem with water based or aloe based lubricants is the lack of product efficacy. Water or aloe based lubricants do not actually qualify as lubricants. Despite marketing efforts, they are technically “moisturizers” that must be reapplied often to remain effective, a requirement that is rarely advertised. Without frequent reapplication, the resulting friction can cause microscopic tears that could allow the passage of STDs to enter the bloodstream.

When you get a burn or put on a lotion, products that contain aloe are effective due to its moisturizing properties but if you need a lubricant, aloe is ineffective as it readily absorbs into the skin. Aloe is also not safe for use with all condoms.

What is it?

Antifreeze, oven-cleaning sodium hydroxide, and cancer-causing parabens. Whether or not you want to believe it, these harmful chemicals are in most mainstream lubes, and they’ve been there since the 50s.

The big, profit-driven manufacturers don’t seem to be concerned about these health risks, but we are. These scary facts are what inspired our head chemist to create Simply Slick for the safety of his wife and women everywhere.


aka Methylparaben, propylparaben, butylparaben, ethylparaben, isobutylparaben, isopropylparaben, benzylparaben

Parabens are the most widely used preservative in conventional lubricants. Suspicions concerning parabens and cancer first appeared back in 1998. Hormone replacement therapy studies have shown a link between the estrogen-like activity of parabens and breast cancer.

Sugar Alcohols
aka Sorbitol, Xylitol

First off, these sweeteners are generally not a good fit for those who are yeast intolerant.

Even more frightening are the results from animal tests (not ours! – we don’t do that). Studies showed that within 30 minutes of consuming a small amount of a xylitol sweetened product, dogs experienced a dramatic drop in blood sugar, vomiting, lethargy, and difficulty walking. Some also suffered from seizures, internal bleeding, and liver failure. Hardly sweet, is it?

Propylene Glycol
aka Antifreeze!

Antifreeze is used in internal combustion engines and other heat transfer applications, like HVAC chillers and solar water heaters. Oh, and many conventional lubes. Doesn’t that rev your engine? Antifreeze can easily penetrate the skin and weaken protein and cellular structure. In fact, it penetrates the skin so quickly that the EPA warns factory workers to avoid skin contact to prevent brain, liver and kidney abnormalities. Not only that, but it also carries other dangerous ingredients into your bloodstream.


It’s toxic to wildlife and its usage in cosmetics is restricted, yet it’s still used in many conventional lubes. There are gaps in data – more studies are needed to assess its safety.

aka Sodium Hydroxide, NaOH, lye, caustic soda; calcium hydroxide; magnesium hydroxide potassium hydroxide

Simply put, they burn, and not in a good way. These substances are so powerful they’re often used for cleaning drains and pipelines, even oven cleaners. It’s no surprise then that they’re strong irritants and corrosive to the skin, eyes, respiratory tract and gastrointestinal system if ingested. If you get sodium hydroxide in your eyes, it can cause permanent eye damage. So why are they used in personal care products? To control the pH. But really, why are they still used? We don’t get it either.

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